How to Love Your Enemies
“But I [Jesus] say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.” (Luke 6:27-31 ESV)
“But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for He is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.” (Luke 6:35-36 ESV)
A while back, we wrote a short piece on this subject for the Verse of the Week feature. Here is a review of what we said:
This is one of the more difficult challenges for practicing Christians. We gave a few examples, including: (1) would you help a needy neighbor who has denounced you and spread malicious gossip about you in the neighborhood? You should, but you’d have to swallow some pride, so to speak. Or (2) how many wives could pray for a husband who has repeatedly been abusive? They should, but it wouldn’t be easy. And (3) what about being literally struck on the cheek (i.e., hit in the face) by, say, an opponent at a political rally? Should you “offer the other cheek” to be hit again, or should you try to defend yourself? That’s a tough one.
Regarding the needy but malicious neighbor, we said that helping him could well change his behavior toward you. And even if it didn’t change him, others would see you helping him and they’d be more apt to view you in a more positive light. It would also change you for the better. And besides forgiving the neighbor for his malice, you would also pray for him to change his behavior.
If you’re the wife of an abuser, you are called upon to pray earnestly for him. He needs serious help. But that doesn’t mean you should continue taking abuse. You would likely get a restraining order and whatever else you need to do legally as self-defense to stop the abuse. But still, you’re called upon to pray for him to get the help he needs.
Regarding being hit in the face: first of all, we note that Jesus encouraged self-defense. In Luke 22:35, He reminded the apostles that when He had previously sent them out to preach the Kingdom of God, He commanded them to take nothing with them – no moneybag, knapsack, or even sandals – to show them the extent to which God would provide. But Jesus knew that soon He would no longer be with them, and for when they would go out then to spread the Gospel, He told them this: But now let the one who has a moneybag take it, and likewise a knapsack. And let the one who has no sword sell his cloak and buy one (Luke 22: 36). In other words, don’t go unarmed.
So how do we regard Jesus’s directive to “offer the other cheek” after being struck? Is there such a thing as a “harmless” unprovoked sock in the chops? Or should it always be considered an intent to do harm (or worse)? Anyone who hits you unprovoked probably won’t need an invitation to hit you again. I believe Jesus was speaking metaphorically, and by “offering the other cheek,” He wasn’t ruling out self-defense but was looking to the end of the altercation and counseling forgiveness by the Christian. (Of course, this assumes it was not the Christian who provoked the attack by actions or words. If you seriously insult someone and he or she slaps you, you may not literally offer the other cheek, but you do have to apologize.)
Overall, if you are living the Christian life – e.g., loving your neighbor by doing good works, following Jesus’s example, etc. – you probably won’t provoke others or bring on physical attacks. Still, you may well have enemies. But enemies are your neighbors, too. (A great church sign reads: “Love Your Neighbor – No Exceptions.”) The bottom line on loving your enemies is forgiving them if they have harmed you in some way, helping them if they have real need and you’re in a position to help, and even gently counseling them if they are open to it – all without condoning any of their sinful behavior or the lifestyle they’re living.
And be sure to note that verse 31 of the first Bible selection quoted is what we know as the Golden Rule: “And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.” That really sums up how Jesus wants you to interact with all people, even enemies.
The above is basically what we said in the original piece. We are adding to this material in a full essay because of a recent article by radio host, commentator, and committed Christian Kevin McCullough. His article provides an excellent example of insightful reaction to an “enemy’s” evil action on the Internet – a type of evil that occurs all too often these days.
Kevin says he is quite used to insults, because he gets them all the time. But recently he received a death threat on the Internet in response to one of his posts. The threat read: “You should get killed on the spot” and stated further a hope that someone would “take care of” him and his team. Not only was the threat aimed at him, but also at those who work with and for him. That was too much.
First off, Kevin acted with self-defense measures – I.e., he saved the message, reported it to the social media platform, and blocked the offender’s account. In his article, he said the following: “If authorities need to become involved, they will. Scripture does not ask me to gamble with the safety of my family or staff to prove I trust God. Forgiveness does not eliminate boundaries. Mercy does not erase consequences. And loving an enemy does not require giving him continued access to your life.” Who could disagree with those points?
What Kevin could have done was post the offender’s name, picture, and contact information and let his thousands of supporters harass the man with a barrage of humiliating messages. In fact, he admitted that was his first thought. But he quickly realized that any satisfaction he got would not last long, and anyway, vengeance is God’s province.
Then, he asked himself this key question: “What am I going to permit this man to produce inside my own heart?” And that’s the most important question for all of us to ask ourselves in situations like this – because for one thing, revenge does not satisfy in the long run, and the incident would tend to fester within us like a malevolent tumor. Forgiveness, on the other hand, is the moral high ground that gives you release and peace – and besides, if you don’t forgive, God may not forgive you when you need it.
Bestselling author and pastor Max Lucado put it this way. In one of his devotionals, he has you envision your enemy tied to a whipping post, and a strong-armed man with a whip asks how many lashes, and you give a number. When it’s over, your enemy slumps down, bleeding, and you walk away. Then Max writes: “Are you happy now? Do you feel better? Are you at peace? Perhaps for a while, but soon another memory will surface, and another lash will be needed, and…when does it all stop?”
So how, in the end, did Kevin McCullough answer the question for himself? First, he quoted Jesus: “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” Then he said this:
“I have read those words countless times. They sound beautiful in a sermon. They are considerably less comfortable when the enemy has just prescribed your death. Jesus never pretended enemies weren’t real. He didn’t call evil a misunderstanding. He didn’t tell His followers to ignore danger or abandon justice. He told us to do something much harder: to see the person committing the evil as someone who still bears the image of God. So I began to pray for the man who wrote the message.”
Kevin went on to state that he didn’t pray because he suddenly felt affection for the offender, but because: “…obedience sometimes has to begin before feelings arrive. I prayed because if I waited until I wanted to do it, I might never do it. I prayed because I know what hatred does to a human heart, and I did not want his hatred taking up residence in mine….Paul wrote, ‘Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.’ That’s not a decorative verse. It is a battlefield command.”
Very well said – and recounted from a true experience by a true Christian.
Norbert J. Kuk